whatever happened to forever?
Whatever happened to forever? Where has forever gone? I know this seems a bit confusing seeing how I'm the one who messed up. I'm not saying I want you to stand by my side, I'm not asking for a second chance. All I want is the life I thought I had before I was on my way to messing it up. This has been a weird year for me... job changes, loss of all my personal belongings, loss of love. I am amazed I haven't snapped and gone nuts. The past few years life hasn't felt normal unless theres turmoil. And if turmoil and chaos can't find me.... well then I'm not afraid to kick up a few hornets nests to bring it on. I hurt you and I am ashamed and embarrassed that I did so. DO I need help? Yes! Do I love you with all my damaged lil being? Jes I do. I have no excuses for the crap I pull... I like pushing to see what I can get away with. And that has been something I have begun to do in the last few years. Still what I did to you was stupid and childish to say the least. You were my world and I just destroyed your love for me. I know you say you still love me and all but I want you to think real hard and tell me if that still holds true after the shock wears off. I only hope you do when the dust settles. If not I'll miss that smile, those hugs and the way you kiss and felt in my arms. i know it doesn't seem like it but I do love you. I miss you "GYPSY".
Love
ME
User Comments about this Letter!
I was not joking when i said i will love you forever.. i just cant be with you.. the hurt i feel when i look at you is WAY to much for me to live with.. I WILL miss your touch so much.. thats why i cried every time you did that.. i could feel love in every touch.. but when i would look at you all i could feel was fear. I cant live with that.. I cant have you in my life as my lover and fear you at the same time. As i told you i have never had someone hurt me in any way and staied with them.. I always walk off before i could get hurt so bad that i couldnt live any longer. I have to walk away. I feel VERY broken inside and unfixable. and its killing me to feel like this.. I dont know where my head is and i dont know up from down. I just hope you can find it in your own heart to forgive yourself. and live a good life for your kids and your mom.. they need you so much.. I wouldnt want anyone to feel what i did when Kegan passed..nor do i want anyone to feel what you told me so many time about your dad not being there.
anyways.. i wish i could turn it all back too but we cant.. it has been done and we both changed because of it.. I do miss you and i will love you forever.. i am here should you need an ear.. For ANTYHING and you should know that holds true.. Hold on to that laugh you bring out in people so easily and never forget to smile yourself.
Love you hun
Your gypsy
--by gypsy069, 09/15/2008
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--by choonchan, 08/09/2010
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