whats this?

To the one who i thought id never stop loving:

Whats this feeling in my stomach? I've never felt so lost...I just sit and i wonder whats going through youre head. I said i would never stop loving you. Yet, here I am wondering if the end has come. I only see your face sometimes, in my dreams. These days, its like i hardly know you. Your life is going in one direction and mine in an other. I thought the differences would be the one thing that was constant for the both of us. And now it seems, we drift further and further apart with each day.

I wonder if it is my fault. I am a different person. I have a different plan, But if i hadnt met someone else, maybe i would still be on the old life track. The one that accomadated for you. The other person makes me smile. The other person is more different than anyone i have ever met. Perhaps this other, is the one i should be making plans with. Because our lives are in sync. It would make more sense. The other person gives me the feeling you used to deliver.

But it hurts my heart to think this is it. We've some such a long long way. And it seems like this is the end of the line for us. The good times, the bad times, they flash before my eyes. And as i reach out to grasp them, the float further and further away. I swore I would never stop loving you. You were the one i wanted forever. It took me so long to get there, and now I feel like running away. Am I a coward? Am I a liar for saying I would never stop loving you? When I said it I meant it with all my heart. And, now i want to promise that to someone else. I would have done anything for you back then. I worshiped you and your strengths as well as your flaws. I feel like this is the last stop. A part of me wants off the train, this wild train ride that has been our relationship. The other part of me is comfortably asleep, dreaming. But in those dreams, the other roams. My passion is clear, but only in dreams. Upon waking, The clouds decend on my mind. And the pain continues...


I used to hold my breath in your presence. Hoping not to make a mistake. Hoping I would do something in that instant that would make you happy, make you laugh, make you smile. But now, my heart wont let me....

i will hold my breath no longer

signed,
the one who promised they would never stop loving you

--by kriskros, USA, 03/04/2006